我们的共识是：To be happy with a man,love him less and understand him more. To be happy with a woman, love her more and understand her less.
延伸话题是：When men and women in our society talk to each other,why they always fail to communicate with each other ???
答：Because they have different concepts of what “communication”means.
I.When they are young ,boys and girls learn to use language in different settings for different purposes.
A.Boys use talk in groups of three or more other boys for the purpose of establishing their place in the group’s hierarchy.
1.In these settings, boys attempt to “hold the floor”with stories meant to impress their peers;their goal is to complete the story in spite of challenges and heckling from other members of the group.
2.Boys’ communication style in these settings is competitive, and verbally and nonverbally aggressive.
3.Thus,boys learn to use language to dominate and control groups.
B.In contrast,girls use talk in smaller groups of two or three other girls for the purpose of forming and maitaining personal relationships.
1. In these settings,”girls talk”revolves around details of everyday life and what the girls are feeling as well as thinking.
2.Their communication style is cooperative and inclusive.
3.Thus, girls learn to use language to create and maintain shared bonds with one another.
II.As a consequence of this early socialization, adult males and females have unconsciously developed different definitions of what “communication”means.
A.Studies of men’s communication style in all-male groups reveal that the objective of talk is to establish status and authority in the group, which men do in talk about activities and things(cars,football, fishing trips,sexual conquests,etc..)
B.Studies of women’s communication style in all-female groups reveal that the ojective of talk is to establish personal relationships which they do by sharing personal experiences and feelings.
III.It is not surprising,then, that these different definitions of communication can lead men and women into trouble when they attempt to communicate with each other in both working relationships and intimate relationships,because females’ desire for “more communication” with their mates can be misunderstood and frustrated by their mates.
A.In the workplace, differences in male and female communication styles can lead to misinterpretation of messages and thus to poor working relationships.
B.In intimate relationships, females’ desire for “more communication”with their mates can be misunderstood and frustrated by their mates.
1.Since males view language essentially as a means to establish their status and authority,they will tend to talk less when they judge their relationship with their mate to be satisfactory;they will dismiss the talk of their mates about daily experiences and feelings as idle chitchat.
2.Since females view language as an essential means of establishing and maintaining personal relationships, they will be frustrated by their mate’s disinterest in and unwillingmess to engage in talk about daily experiences and feelings
IV.These findings would suggest that the familiar prescription for resolving misunderstandings and conflicts through “more communication”, by”talking it out”may be of limited usefulness in resolving problems in male-female relationships.
此外，今天Inquiry作gender stereotypes 的Alicia提出，guys are not free from stereotypes,as they risk their honour to act like girls while girls earn honour through acting as guys.