Our Love & Desires Our Cravings for Security

It is so painful to watch the video clip at  PSY343 class this morning, reflecting upon what I have read about Attachment Theory and what I have seen in clinical settings these days,  i finally got to the point:
All the human desires…say, power, money and sex…are all illusions…they are just metaphors or substitutes for our needs for security….from our cradle to our grave…Same with all the relationships in the name of love, either to a particular person, a particular pet or a particular benign object….
However, if you say you do not care about anything listed above, then MAN,  I’ll tell you that NOTHING in this world can comfort you and you should go directly to the HELL….
My guess for people with severe depression is that they can no longer find any source of comfort for their insecurity upon living in this world …what makes a life gray but also bloody is not this person’s  tiredness of living, but rather, after immersing themselves in long-term distress, they come to lose their ability to love and to desire and worse still, they  go on losing their ability to even sense the love and the desires, and finally, they reject all the love and desires and deny the worth of any of them.. such a progress can be precipitated, especially, after a long yet repeatedly-failed struggles for both of them …our cravings for security, as can be seen from a life bearing all sorts of human relationships, even he or she is just a very young kid…

The name of this emotional video is John, Aged Seventeen Months, For Nine Days in a Residential Nursery, from Young Children in Brief Separation Series in 1960s.
Here is a summary for John’s  case:

JOHN is a loved child who has never been out of his mother’s care. At 17 months he is admitted to a group of toddlers in a residential nursery while his mother is in hospital to have a second child.  The nurses are young and friendly, but the system of group care does not allow any one of them to substitute for the absent mother. John tries hard to make a relationship to get the comfort he needs, but he is defeated and becomes increasingly distressed.

The cheerful young nurses are habituated to sporadic crying, and as they are not assigned to the care of individual children the severity of John’s distress is not recognised until a late stage; even then, the work-system prevents the child’s need of substitute mothering from being met.  When on the ninth day John’s mother comes to take him home, he will not accept her and struggles to get out of her arms.  He looks at his mother in a way she has never seen before.

My final marks are::

Nothing can comfort the loss of a young kid in separation if it occurred at a critical time during his/herdevelopment.
The busiest person in this world is a kid around 1 or 2-year-old.
What a kid can understand about us is far more than what we can understand about him/her.
It is never too young to sense the emotional pain as a little human being.
A 1-year-old kid is non-verbal yet he is NOT non-sensible.
NEVER neglect a kid when he or she show strong emotional needs from you! It can be a most vicious SIN whether or not you do it on purpose!!!


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