trainspotting-on the 8078th day

on the 8078th day
i had an extremely  anxious nightmare last night..similar scenario …as it was in the Spring of 2003 …
i’ve never been able to catch up with the train…which is leading to somewhere unknown yet seems highly desirable…
the only difference is the people around me at the moment
desperate …so desperate…it seems that i could never catch the train…
trainspotting…nothing to do with that movie…
the train …actually..
is the expectation from others…
i guess…
and from my internal conscienciousness as well…

on the 8078th day
on the 4-year-anniversary of  my celebration of my sucking-GAOKAO-day-gone
i’ve got buried by emails
i’ve got buried by GRE words
i’ve got buried by my inherent unstopped anxiety
4yrs have passed…another 4 yrs are still waiting upon…

on the 8078th day
i got a video card from Tomato & a weekend talking invitation from Noodles far away from Europe
Tomato & Noodles…fancy meeting you two in my limited life
you two are my sunshine whenever i’m chewing sth. bittering
i got relieved somehow…

on the 8078th day
i heard an astonishing life story from a guy i was not that familiar with…
i appreciate his trust upon me
i hope that he got relieved now
as acknowledging something true enough, no matter how embarrassing it is, can finally set you free..

on the 8078th day
i watch my sucking calendar
i watch the train in coming in 3 weeks
i watch the chance to catch it again

life is tough yet it is why it is worth living…
to learn and practice all my life
and get prepared as well

on the 8078th day


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