One-year Delayed Offer from U of Toronto,May God Know What the Hell that Calls~

The end of this long journey started from  6:55 p.m.yesterday.  

i got a call from Uncle Woo in Mills Library ,the moment i woke up in the sofa of 3rd floor , facing Mary Keyes from a huge down-to-floor window.

i was about to attend my Statistic 2D03  in 5 minutes , taking tons of notes as well as getting my second midterm mark. Then rang my cell phone, from which came out Uncle Woo’s voice… He simply told me that there is a mail for me, seemingly from U of T …  

i was not in the least surprise cuz i just received an email the day before yesterday from Dean of Arts & Science which later turned out as a disappointment cuz there was nothing mentioning admission yet just inviting me to apply for residence in Victoria College at St. George Campus…  

So i said :"oh , i see…maybe something about residence application…yet that’s none of my business…cuz i applied as a transfer student while the residence is intended for first year students… "  

Actually i’ve not expected to receive the offer at this moment cuz my final transcript from McMaster could not be mailed out until the early June so it was almost impossible for U of T to make any decision on me  …at least so far…   

Before hanging off , however, i still asked Uncle Woo to open that letter for me in case there was any emergency . And i told him that i was in a rush to a summer course and  promised that i would call him back once i finished my course and got home…

"…hopefully,i could make it around 10:30 p.m."  

In fact, i did not make that call until this noon. i was taking the lunch break from my work in residence … Since the cell phone fee was killing me last month… plus.. having worked for a month, i just learn to be as smart as other fellow workers to take the most benefits out of the job, say, making free calls from residence telephone during breaks…  

There came out Uncle Woo’s voice again.

"The letter is from Victoria College of U of T, it said that they’ve decided to accept you as a Honours Science Student…"  

"What??Really??then… which year i’m gonna be?"  

"Not mentioned yet…yet there is a letter signed by the Dean, saying that u will still have 3 years to go for their programme …so i guess u ‘ve been placed on the upper year…"  

"Well..what programme then? is that life science ?"  

"Not sure yet…just under the name of Arts & Science Faculty…hey.. is this Victoria College the place u wanna go?"  

"Yep!exactly….remember? that is the campus we went for a visit with my Dad this March…and there is a fantastic old castle-style building in front of which we took a picture together…"  

"Yep, i remembered that…Congratulations,Hsiao! u finally get what u want…"  

At this moment, however, i found it so hard to seize any sincere pleasure from the bottom of my heart…

This offer has been delayed for almost one year so that i could not even force a smile on my face.

Perhaps,there is a saying that could be referenced to—

The gratification reduces as the progress towards success slows down…  

So peacefully, i continued,

"yet it’s weired …cuz i have not mailed out my final transcript from McMaster…"  

"Not a big deal,uhh?…See.. they’ve been fully impressed by the one from Peking University Health Science Center…"  

"Well…i’ve double-checked my application status online and it seems that they  found several awards and certificates material from my application of last year…So maybe i should thank God…anyway…having missed  for totally one year for unknown reasons..they finally did some contribution …"  

Yet May God Know What the Hell that Calls….  

My mom once told me, do not blame anyone when there are some mistakes or  problems popping up on the half way that could not get explained or fixed…

" that’s not your fault…however, learn to accept them as parts of your fate so that  makes you feel better ..remember everyone has got its own way to work it out ..anyway…never make any unnecessary comparation and inference or else you will  live under the shadow  with irritation , regret and shame throughout your whole life…"  

Here in Canada, after one-year struggling, i’ve gained more understanding towards those words .

So i wrote this blog just in memory of  those wild days.

Longing for the new life in that big city.

Hoping to fill up my heart with joyful meanings.




背景音乐:The Heart Asks Pleasure First –Theme of "The Piano"
英国音乐家Michael Nyman创作的《The Piano》主题曲《The Heart Asks Pleasure First》,
名字取自Emily Dickinson一首忧郁小诗。
《The Heart Asks Pleasure First》
The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,
And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.
The liberty to leave,
The liberty to fly,
The liberty to die .
  1. Nan said:

    lol, congratulations!
    sometime, u know, life is weird…we just simply lose control on it. however, u finally got what u want. It’s awesome!
    BTW, i do think ur English is very good, u know, just like reading some book^o^…thinking about me, i’m so shamed…=  =|||
    Good luck~~i wish i could go to Canada one year after.^o^

  2. Stephanie囧囧 said:

    ur words r so touching….lots of them just tell what i wanna say yet which have been repressed 4 a long time..’不过今年真的是特别想回家,特别特别想。有时候都忍不住后悔呢。叹气。’ that’s exactly what i feel now….why u cannot be back this summer? i cannot becuz of the summer school and work contract…rite now i wanna GO HOME deadly…
    BTW:sometimes there r so many things unpleasant or unexpected popping up at the same time …which get u stressed out & somewhat mixed-up..yet u r not lonely..everybody has got someday to realize his/her powerlessness towards sth..and ur current special situation, say, living alone & far away from home just put forward the date…take it easy …just an small episode doomed to get thru…plus…do not hesitate to contact ur best friends when u feel helpless…i used to feel guilty to call someone when i feel distressed …until one day i received a long email from my best friend in BJ..i feel kind of ‘special’.. u know there has been long distance as well as long time btw her & me…it is true that everyone has got his/her own life at this age yet have u imagined the great feeling of "sb."when he /she is picked up as the first one to listen to ur bad day?? next time if u feel guilty to disturb someone just think abt how u ruin a great chance to show sb.that he/she is special to u….
    my feedback is a little longer….anyway good luck whatever happens ~
    P.S.:u can come to Canada as an exchange student …4 sure~=)

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