《老萧有话说》之“站错排了”

今天终于做掉了Inquiry Presentation,题目是Whether the high frequent negative portrayal of racial groups found in voilent crime news represent the reality or indicate the long-standing racial bias?
感谢FBI超详细的数据,以及在场同学对我的Patience 和 Tolerance,我本来印好了五张A4纸,打算扛不住时就照着读的,可是到了现场,因为字太小,找不到行了,于是变成了即兴Talk Show,我都忘了我是怎么连哄带骗把20分钟熬过去的。我只知道我的语速越来越快,声音越来越大,反正就是要让人听不清楚我在胡拽…..哎….过去沉溺犯罪片以及焦点访谈培养出的那点口若悬河的本事这回派上用场了….
昨天Movie Nuts看了有生以来的第二部爱情喜剧,Ten Things I hate about you,哎,看完后,instructor环场一周,然后很认真地问:“If you date a girl,which kind will you choose?”
…..靠,忍了….谁让俺是唯一的女性观众,俺是最后一个回答问题的,结论是:我会脚踏两只船,一个培养成红颜知己,一个培养成老伴…..
恩…在场的男同胞,几乎都是读研的,有一位大叔孩子都有了,不管哪国的,普遍喜欢头脑简单的Catt,唯一那个喜欢深度型的"例外"据说至今还光棍….
我们的共识是:To be happy with a man,love him less and understand him more;
                    To be happy with a woman, love her more and understand her less.
 
延伸话题是:When men and women in our society talk to each other,why they always fail to communicate with each other ???
答:Because they have different concepts of what "communication"means.
 
I.When they are young ,boys and girls learn to use language in different settings for different purposes.
 
A.Boys use talk in groups of three or more other boys for the purpose of establishing their     place in the group’s hierarchy.
1.In these settings, boys attempt to "hold the floor"with stories meant to impress their peers;their goal is to complete the story in spite of challenges and heckling from other members of the group.
2.Boys’ communication style in these settings is competitive, and verbally and nonverbally aggressive.
3.Thus,boys learn to use language to dominate and control groups.
 
B.In contrast,girls use talk in smaller groups of two or three other girls for the purpose of forming and maitaining personal relationships.
1. In these settings,"girls talk"revolves around details of everyday life and what the girls are feeling as well as thinking.
2.Their communication style is cooperative and inclusive.
3.Thus, girls learn to use language to create and maintain shared bonds with one another.
 
II.As a consequence of this early socialization, adult males and females have unconsciously developed different definitions of what "communication"means.
 
A.Studies of men’s communication style in all-male groups reveal that the objective of talk is to establish status and authority in the group, which men do in talk about activities and things(cars,football, fishing trips,sexual conquests,etc..)
 
B.Studies of women’s communication style in all-female groups reveal that the ojective of talk is to establish personal relationships which they do by sharing personal experiences and feelings.
 
III.It is not surprising,then, that these different definitions of communication can lead men and women into trouble when they attempt to communicate with each other in both working relationships and intimate relationships,because females’ desire for "more communication" with their mates can be misunderstood and frustrated by their mates.
 
A.In the workplace, differences in male and female communication styles can lead to misinterpretation of messages and thus to poor working relationships.
 
B.In intimate relationships, females’ desire for "more communication"with their mates can be misunderstood and frustrated by their mates.
 
1.Since males view language essentially as a means to establish their status and authority,they will tend to talk less when they judge their relationship with their mate to be satisfactory;they will dismiss the talk of their mates about daily experiences and feelings as idle chitchat.
2.Since females view language as an essential means of establishing and maintaining personal relationships, they will be frustrated by their mate’s disinterest in and unwillingmess to engage in talk about daily experiences and feelings
 
IV.These findings would suggest that the familiar prescription for resolving misunderstandings and conflicts through "more communication", by"talking it out"may be of limited usefulness in resolving problems in male-female relationships.
 
 
 
 
此外,今天Inquiry作gender stereotypes 的Alicia提出,guys are not free from stereotypes,as they risk their honour to act like girls while girls  earn honour through acting as guys.
 
今晚5:30–6:30看了关于Mac Psycho Lab的录像和Dr. Prof. 研究方向介绍,酷毙了….尤其作儿童发展心理学的,天天跟小孩打交道,人都显得比搞生物神经或临床变态心理学的年轻不少。老外的小孩儿太可爱了,我几次在公车上见到,恨不得当即拐走,来….让姐姐我捏一个哈….
小孩儿分三种,normal, untypical & abnormal.将来实习接触的对象是untypical的那群,治疗方案很科学,不仅要帮孩子,关键是要培训父母, 改善孩子的诸多不利生存环境。《心灵捕手》里Dr对Wale念紧箍咒似的反复重申:“It’s not your fault”延伸到现实,唏嘘过后也许悲凉仍在,因为戏剧允许戏剧性转折,可生活是波澜不惊的,且转折也不一定都是好的。
 
My Quotes: If you finally find yourself stand in the wrong line and have grown into untypical pattern due to your miserable childhood or abnormal family relationship or fierce and unpredictable turning-point(…usually appearing dramastic or fateful when we look back upon several years later…)  encountered in adolesence and have missed the optimal time for the treatment ,then just accept yourself as who you are and regard those as some blue plots in somebody else’s movie and believe that it will turn into a happy ending someday if you try hard to get rid of the control of your past and self-stereotype.That is so hard yet there is chance to become the few…..Always remember it is not your fault to become untypical  as young yet would be your fault if you remain untypical for the rest of your life.
 
P.S:1.今天得知若想被CIA相中,其实很“简单”,精通十种语言就行了……+_+说这话的人欠扁
      2.在Thode Library发现了东北大学学报,T_T太感动啦,尤其和Science放在同一排….
      3.Inquiry的同学调查媒体上对Typical Asian men &women的描绘:
         MEN:intelligent, professional ,serious yet cold, distant;
         WOMEN:quiet, submissive,eager & easy to be satisfied……
         我无语,人家说:Stereotypes comes from cumulative facts.
         如果你用google查Asian men或Asian Women,你会得到两张图片,其中women的那张是个模特  简直就是迪斯尼二维“花木兰”的三维原型,那叫Pretty Woman啊!
&nbsp:无论加拿大时间还是北京时间:现在是2006年11月16日—-
           祝老萧最最亲爱,最最伟大的娘45岁生日快乐!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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5 comments
  1. Jing said:

    To be happy with a man,love him less and understand him more;
                        To be happy with a woman, love her more and understand her less.
     这句话太经典了!可以成千古名句了。你圣诞节回来吗,不回来住哪呀?

  2. Ares said:

    这是什么课来的?????神奇有趣!我现在的口语已经快退化到中学水平了……说不准一上场,就是一个哑口无言。。generally,这延伸的话题都很神奇,精确,入骨,[ps,主要说得是外国人吧?和中国人的可以对得上,不过却稍有偏差,就男性而言,女性那边呢?]另一方面来说,男女搭配,其实不是坏主意,沟通问题是很容易解决的,因为毕竟都是人,只是需要一点磨合熟悉的时间,然而男女的搭配性的力量就不言而喻啦~ 一个女性在一群男性中的威力,是奇妙的。呵呵呵呵last but not the least,To be happy with a man,love him less and understand him more; To be happy with a woman, love her more and understand her less. 婚外情适用。哈哈哈哈
    PS,writing assign写多了,语法格式比较stereotype。。呵呵Guys are not free from stereotypes,as they risk their honour to act like girls while girls  earn honour through acting as guys.比较赞同这句~虽然是另外一种赞同but anyway~

  3. Ares said:

    有空找你聊聊这untypical type 啊~哈哈

  4. Minduo said:

    你这untypical asian woman…

  5. renee said:

    我的meal plan才用了400多,还有近1500啊““这破学校就会坑人
    9059620966

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