Commemoration for setting in MAC for 2 months

On the day I set in MAC for two month,a guy told me in a chit-chat something about his fleeting two months  :I kissed cigarettes goodbye the first week I got here coz’ I don’t wanna be starved to death….In Mac,I am nothing but an ID number,anyone can replace my existence as long as he got my student card…I learned nothing but swallow letters till feeling fed up with and blush like a blue dog everywhere,say–asking favours of whoevers and bothering them whenever troubles come…
Cheers,anyway–he has got on the right track after all…That is exactly the way we survive "outside" :
Fall away from your past,
Forget who you are ,or rather,remain self-respect at the very bottom of your heart and kick self-importance away to the coldest hell .
And always get ready to ask for help anytime….
Finally, regard yourself as a huge huge empty container and just take in as much experience as you can , no matter  sweet or bitter and  just try to suck the nutrition even out of craps to better your own growth…
 
As I am studying Social Identity for my Inquiry course, I know to some extent ,international students ,as part of minority, will remain as outgroup members for quite a long time  esp. for East-Asian students as we tend to bunch up as relatively secluded small circles due to our dominant core culture.
写到这里,我忽然想起,郑愁予的《错误》中最后一句
…我达达的马蹄是美丽的错误 我不是归人,是个过客…
很好的注脚,只是我希望即使身为过客,看到的是美丽,而不是错误。
然而–psycho group里的一个满嘴谎话,颐指气使,目中无人,傻*+草包的老鼠屎似的女生坏了一锅粥,她的不负责任和拖延连累了全组的平均分,谁都明白是怎么回事。我和另外一个女生声讨了她,可是余下三个人,在那傻* 逃课不在场的状况下,还装的跟黑手党党徒似的,just remian in some aquiescent silence.还说什么,that’s OK,we did not bad, just small mistakes….WHY???
于是我想象校园里有两个极端,惶惶 和 晃晃…
我不是晃晃…但变成惶惶也不好,虽然我不可抑制地越来越像了…..
第二个group project又来了,TA还不让换组~NYYD
Man, I’m telling you,my culture and my education background told me to be strict with acdamic staffs and I don’t care what you think…I just wanna tell you, it costs me a lot to be able to sit here and I don’t wanna  waste my life either….Everybody gets busy in University,you are not the unique while I am not an exception and so —get all your excuses full of platitudes to the hell !!!Show me if I could trust in you again!!
 
Now I am back to struggle for 2 presentations….I won’t take coffee to stay up,it really hurts~
And above all, I have suffered for one week to finally kiss coffee goodbye and I do not want to take another torture.
Coffee is much similar to drugs while my experience to get rid of it is exactly another typical case of classical conditioning .
Well….swim in the journal articles for this weekend~ @_@
 
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4 comments
  1. SUI said:

    你学啥来着?不会变的成什么吧

  2. Ares said:

    嗯~~~想拿满分的人是最怕group project的~而考试不合格的人却又是最喜欢group project 的~
    同情下, 祈祷下:)~

  3. Minduo said:

    Eine Woche? Unglaublich. Sei zufrieden, meine Kaffeesucht geht mir schon auf die Nerven…
    哇哈哈我最近发现语言的阻碍力量实在太强大鸟~~看不懂就是看不懂啊~~
     
    话说, 那"man…again"的一段话真是你当面跟它说的? 质的飞跃啊。

  4. Stephanie囧囧 said:

    至一楼:我也不知道我学啥呢…..Tough Choice….
               我是一老顽固,心智健全,暂时不会向狂人发展,哈哈~
    至二楼:谢谢啊T_T。。。
    至三楼:小样儿,真用德语回…..啥意思哈???不会是说俺坏话吧….
               嘿嘿,俺找个德国学生或德语老师讨教讨教去~
     

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