I’ve been living away from MSN for a whole week, just for the psychology group project and midterm.I am definitely a crazy nerd and this is an official acknowledgement!I experienced something special this week……I felt I am almost full……all kinds of emotions.
“If possible ,I’d rather click and skip this whole terrible week!”-a prediction of this week after thanksgiving Yet I got survived after all and gain an immense gratification after the long torture ,say ,sleeping totally less than 15 hours for a week. I just got fully absorbed in journal articles and all kinds of datas and cases.I did most part of the work within the group and just acted as a firefighter,solving troubles falling anytime and controlling any visible or potential risks.You know “thinking too much—esp imaging any unpleasant consequences “ is exactly what I am really into.I know beyond gratitude,lots of them regarding me as too rigorous and scholarly-mannerd.A guy even predicated that I was indeed much older than all the others regardless of my childish face and manners.Our editor said just” handing in Steph’s work then would be perfect”. What could I say then? Actually, I somtimes just feel some kind of immense desparation.I just found I’ve surrendered something precious too hastiedly for no good reason as a young man.
Well…no regret still…I remembered Vladimir Putin had no hesitation to give up his pleasure in taking any pictures with others and digging fun around casually after he saw a movie recording the life of Soviet Intelligence officers as a teenager and then aspired to be KGB someday.Another similar case is one of my kindergarten peers,who turns into totally another man for her “expensive” ambition.As we are still young, we can not judge whether it is a kind of courage or a dangerous hot-blooded impulseness. What people concern is just the consequence, success followed by admiration and another legendency while failure a ridicule and another conversation piece.So just bless her from the bottom of my heart…Amen~
Anyway,I still got all A za under my dozy and unalive mind—cheers-anyway!
My roommate has got trouble in sleeping for a long time and things are just getting worse for her as midterm’s coming.She got extremely stressful after her steep drop in marks of Bio-lab.I have detected her trivial change in mood much earlier than her best friends yet I did not know what to do or how to react.I am so poor at expressing my concern and emotions via English .The day after Thanksgiving,she went to see the doctor.And the next day,when I came back to fetch my digical camera ,I found her talking on a phone with eyes swimming in tears. She left with her Mom for a change and came back 2 days later.When the last moment coming, they just hold and embrace each other tightly for 5 minutes or so, in ever-silent weeping.At the sight,I almost shed tears and suddenly extremely felt like calling my mom.Later,she asked me “Have you ever think of how to survive through your university?”I told her I fully understand what she feel right now and just told her my story in my blue Grade 12 and the transition to the first year in Peking University.I just express my idea like “believe in sth”,”try your best to do well in what you can control and just leave the rest to other whoevers,let time to judge and prove everything” , ”waiting with enough patience for any payback” and “never feel regret about the decision based on what you have or had believed in”.She smiled in tears finally,ending up with “Steph, thank you being so nice to me all the time”.Yet later,her mother called back for concern and she lost control again.She said she still cannot accept the fact that the whole family go for holidays somewhere while leaving her alone,she asked her mom to take her away.She just cannot stand a second living in campus…… Now the terrible week ended,I am not sure whether she got recovered or not.She leave message on msn saying her bio sucks and she just got hammered .Last night, she partied all night with her friends,with strong alcohol. She is a nice girl, everybody on 3th floor loves her,me too.
My psycho group project is to study the limitation of our brain ,simply to say is we may never handle two things together at once,at least so far.As a well-being person,I was always thinking limitation in our mind contributes to the immense limitations upon our life before I encountered another guy,who got paralyzed after a rugby match and doomed to living in wheelchairs or bed for the rest of hislife.Just a few days ago,he celebrated his 21th birthday . Worse still, for some weired reason ,he has no insurence to cover his astronomical medical expense.A girl who attended his last match described to me as” just 3 minutes then everything changed”.She is now doing fundraising for the guy.Her life also got some great impact I guess.She now forces herself to be more social and stronger inside for the sake of saving another guy’s life.
So ,as I used to say ,our fates just get connected one another,whether you believe or not,sometimes so tightly……visible or invisible,we are actually getting influenced by each other,a little by a little……In a sense,man are Shaped by Treated……So be careful whether treating others or being treated, try to exert good influence on others so that finally everyone could get better off.
Then the Inquiry on Wednesday about the old stereotype towards the disabled and the elderly triggered another hot discussion about the social identity about the marginal people.
“I just want you know that ‘them ’is me.We are all challenged visible or invisible somewhere,whether you admitted or not.”That is one of Dr.Ryan ‘s most impressive quotations through her awesome presentation.
I get to know some great challenged writters.They told people about their struggle with themselves as well as the society ,what their life really look like beyond our well-beings such taken-for –granted imaginations. They write for various reasons,yet there are two common reasons:One is to get themselves recoverd through the writting experience,for forgetting something miserable as well as memorize something treasurable forever.The other is to write for the social voice.Say ,they told the public that they want freedom –-to choose whether to be helped or not.They promoted the innovation of wheelchair design…And they create " memory box" to help Alzeimer’s friends and family to communicate better with the Alzeimer patients
Among them is Dr Oliver Sacks whose problem in nervous system did not not prohibit him from even prompt him,in some degree, to become a great clinical professor of neurologyt.And there is another guy who just kept writting extremely beatiful words from official diagnosis until he finally completedly fell into dementia, and there are many “others” whose life stories strike me a huge lot~
I might write about them after I read their lives through those sparkling and smashing words someday……
On Thursday,I went to learn and see children with audism,mostly innate and some are still infants .Their family suffer most,yet they will never see the life of their baby as a tragedy ,as long as they are alive.I want to participate in their recovery yet I have got no working experiences with children before.I was Pked then.I will try next year…
Autism is a severe neurodevelopmental disorder which is rarely recoverable while onset prior to 3 years of old.The patients may not feel much pain (even not at all!),yet their family would get a deadly blow ,feeling extremely hurted and desperate for a moment or more.
Life is hard,yet I will always look for joy in it.
So I feel like changing a topic~
Our TAs might go on strike next Monday for payment of arrears of wages.As Matt.P (my psycho TA)recalled,complaints about wages are all around year,yet strikes of this large scale have not occured since 1999.He said he will only attend the strike once he was notified as a requirement.He would like to see us in private under request or pillow message with us online if TAs were asked to leave offices someday. He’s a nice Italian guy who holds a childish sunny face and cheeks dimples as smiling .On Fridays,his performance will suddenly shoot up if his GF turns up at the last row of the classroom for the last few minutes….Yet what we concerned is that whether the midterm be delayed or even cancelled due to the strike?
At the first sight of Dr.Day, what images in my head is his dressing up as Santa Claus .So funny as well as so kind that I almost ignored his age.I love him.As an elder,he is an optimist with strong curiosity and as a psychologist,he is sharp-wittd and passionately-sentimental. Yet I was able to detect and capture a slender grief and sorrow in his small eyes whenever he described patients or any tragic or even appalling cases, even though just a moment flashed by ,yet truely existed and strongly infected me .He is an exellent writter and poet,esp. good at love poem when he wae as young as you and me .His favourite style is to wear a white shirt in a pair of trousers with braces and hold a cigarrete with fingers wearing the remarkable wedding ring.A few times when hanging around the campus,I saw he staying away in a corner outside a building with nothing in hand.Maybe for him watching people passing by is a joy and a way of relax, just like me~hehe .He is so stand-out in the crowd ,bad for a psychologist.“Love humanbeings and feel sympathy for them yet sometimes keep a distance away from them for the sake of better understanding what is human nature"as someone quotes"Be lonely and oddball is part of the expense of being a psychologist ,now Dr.Day can be a counterexample I guess…
Mr. Kolster reminded me of Sir.Wu Qiming ,who influenced upon me a lot in my high school.The way he explains Linear Algebra is philosophically vague rather than mathematically accurate.Just like Mr.Wu ,he appreciates simplicity rather than complexity.He is a gentleman with a little British accent, well manners and a good figure,prefering jeans and shirts,joking in a temper way while smiling in a undetected way—I mean he fills his eyes with smile instead of twitching the corner of his mouth.Again,like Mr.Wu,he is a man dabbling in many fields,a man with spice, a man you can expected handsome and suave in his youth and a man who is a friend-like father of his daughter.
I am so so so tired,that is all then…